If you’re like 80% of people, your New Year’s resolution has failed by now.
Many of us find ourselves asking, “Why?”
Why do we set goals year after year and rarely seem to see them come to fruition? It often comes down to where our motivation for the goal originates and how well it aligns with our lifestyle and values.
Goals, or New Year’s resolutions, often stem from outside influences. In terms of wellness, we set weight goals, exercise goals and nutrition goals based on what others tell us we should want or value. You need to be the smallest version of yourself. You need to eat a specific number of cups of vegetables per day. You need to work out five times per week. But what if those goals don’t align with how we envision our lives or reflect what we genuinely value? The result often is failure.
We fail because the goals or resolutions were never truly ours to begin with. They were designed for someone else. We’re often handed generic recommendations about health and how to achieve it. But the truth is, we’re all unique. Humans vary greatly, and this individuality means our goals need to be personalized to fit who we are and what’s realistic for us — all things considered.
Instead of blaming yourself, ask, “What about this goal was never going to work for me, considering my lifestyle and values?” and “Does my lifestyle need to change to support this goal if it truly aligns with my values?” These questions can help you stop making goals based on what others expect or on societal values you don’t genuinely hold. From this clearer perspective, you can create a new goal that aligns with who you are now and who you want to become.
It’s important to understand that failure is not a reflection of your worth or capability. Often, it’s a sign that the approach wasn’t right for you. For example, if your goal was to wake up at 5 a.m. every day to exercise, but your body naturally thrives on a later schedule, you might be setting yourself up for unnecessary struggle. Instead, consider an exercise routine that fits your natural rhythm, even if it’s in the evening. Adapting goals to your unique circumstances can make them far more attainable.
Another factor to consider is whether your goals are too ambitious or lack specificity. Broad statements like, “I want to eat healthier” or “I want to be fit,” can be overwhelming and difficult to measure. Break these goals into smaller, actionable steps. For instance, start by incorporating one additional vegetable into your meals each day or commit to a 20-minute walk three times per week. These smaller steps build momentum and confidence, making the larger goal feel more achievable.
Lastly, reflect on the emotional reasons behind your goals. Are you pursuing them out of self-love and a desire for personal growth, or are they driven by guilt, shame or societal pressure? Goals rooted in positive motivations are more likely to succeed because they come from a place of self-respect and alignment with your values.
So, if you’re sitting here with a failed goal this February, great! It means you have the opportunity to craft a goal that will actually work for you. Take this as a chance to start fresh, armed with better insight and a deeper understanding of what truly matters to you. Failure is not the end; it’s a stepping stone toward a more authentic and achievable path.
Bri Edwards is a holistic health coach at Healthy Foundations in Dubuque.
