The temperature has dropped. The leaves have fallen. And seasonal depression is creeping in.
Holidays can be difficult when you’ve lost people who won’t be walking through the door on Thanksgiving. Holidays are even more difficult to write about when you want to share the good things that bring holiday cheer, but you aren’t feeling too cheerful.
Although I am feeling a little moody, I want to get in the holiday spirit. So, how does a silly little moody girl like me fight off the dark cloud and find the bright moments during dark times? This is my “how to” guide on how to show up and show out when you rather hide out.
First step, and one that I’ve shared in a previous article. Just get up. Get out of bed, even though you don’t want to. Take a shower and change out of those crusty pajamas. Life is full of things we don’t want to do. I learned how to make the smallest task more fun and a form of self-care. Sometimes I feel so low that I don’t want to get out of bed to shower. So instead, I run a bubble bath. I can lay back in the tub as long as I want and get clean. I make a whole thing of it. I light candles and play music. I treat myself. It helps me to relax and clears my mind.
Secondly, get some air. This means getting out of the house. Holidays are for spending time with the ones you love — the loved ones who are here. Staying home and isolated can turn a grey cloud to black. Self-isolation boosts loneliness and depression. See your friends. Go to your siblings’ house, or stop by and check on grandma. Get up, get out and get some fresh air. Sometimes being social can be hard when you’re struggling with emotions you don’t like talking about. If you would rather get some air alone, that’s OK, too. Get out and take a walk. Sit by the river or lake. Go touch grass. Crack open a window and sit next to it with a good book or a cup of tea.
I don’t pretend to know everything, but I know a little about a lot. I know what grief looks like and what depression feels like. I’ve gone through the motions. It’s hard finding the motivation to get through every day, let alone get through the holidays. Everyone is chipper, and you don’t want to be a scrooge. You also shouldn’t hide the way you feel to make others around you comfortable.
My third step is to speak up. Holidays are filled with love and compassion. This is the time to come together and ask for the support you need from your family or neighbors. If you’re feeling down and feel like you’ll put a dent in the fun, speak up. Tell your loved ones you need a little extra love. The only fun that would be ruined is if others didn’t know how to properly acknowledge you and your feelings when you walk into a room. No one is against you, but no one can be there to lift you if they don’t know you’re falling. More often than not, being present physically but absent of mind could ruin a mood more that speaking your mind and making your presence known.
Rasharra Smith is a recent graduate of the University of Dubuque.
